When I was single, managing my money was fairly simple:
Do I have enough money for rent?
Do I have enough money for the required 90 boxes of Kraft Dinner needed to sustain me this month?
If the answer to both was yes, I moved on with my day.
But now that I’m married and Kraft Dinner is no long acceptable as breakfast, lunch, and dinner, I have a whole new set of financial considerations.
If your partner’s spending habits don’t match yours, or if one of you makes way more money than the other, things can get tricky.
How tricky? Well I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but money is consistently ranked the #2 cause of divorce.
BUT WE DON’T WANT NO DRAMA.
NO NO DRAMA.
So here are five truths that make the difference between chaos and cooperation.
1. Fair isn’t always 50/50
Splitting every bill down the middle might seem fair, but if one spouse makes double the other, it’s a recipe for disaster/resentment.
Think instead about proportional splits, with each partner paying according to income.
This levels the playing field and gives each partner some breathing room.
2. Joint vs. separate isn’t the real question
About 43% of couples fully merge accounts, 34% keep them separate, and 23% use a hybrid.
The happiest often choose the middle: a joint account for bills and goals, plus personal accounts for guilt-free spending.
That way you’re aligned on the big stuff but still free to buy some treats on the side. Treats may or may not include this:
The key isn’t which system you pick, it’s that you both agree and revisit it regularly.
3. Talk about money like you talk about dinner
“Babe, would you pass the cash plz?”
Not quite like that. I just mean talking about it regularly and openly.
You shouldn’t wait until you’re starving to decide what to eat. Don’t wait for a crisis to talk about money.
Couples who have regular financial check-ins report lower stress and stronger relationships.
Try a 20-minute “money date” once a month: review spending, check progress on goals, and flag what’s coming up. Normalize the conversation so it’s routine, not reactive.
To make this super easy for you, here’s a checklist you can reference:
Just holding up cash beside your piggy bank DOES NOT count as a money meeting.
4. Don’t cheat
Generally good advice for relationships, but particularly with finances.
“Financial infidelity” (hiding debt, secret accounts, or big purchases) is extremely common.
About 1 in 3 couples admit to hiding money from their partner.
Make transparency non-negotiable: agree there are no secrets about income, debt, or major expenses.
Also protect your household with the basics: a rainy-day fund (3–6 months of expenses) and the right insurance.
Few things kill romance like scrambling after an unexpected bill.
Different kind of cheating, still bad.
5. Build momentum together
Two incomes can either supercharge your future or vanish into lifestyle creep. Studies show dual-income couples often overspend simply because they can.
Instead, funnel that surplus into shared goals: build a down payment fund, set up a travel account, or max out retirement. The magic isn’t just the money, it’s the alignment.
Balling out in St. Tropez for no reason (lifestyle creep) instead of saving for retirement.
Team up to level up
Do I miss each Mac and Cheese three times a day?
Of course.
But do I like being married more?
Of course.
Financial adjustments to my life are a small price to be in the presence of MY LOVELY WIFE.
Yes, she reads these.
Yes, our anniversary is coming up.
Managing money as a couple isn’t about spreadsheets. It’s about communication, fairness, and teamwork.
Treat your finances as a joint project, with room for independence but a shared vision, and you’ll find money doesn’t just pay bills, it builds the life you actually want, together. 🥲
Me (the turtle) teaming up with my wife (the Power Ranger (should be the pink one)) to manage our finances. Our friends cheer in the background. The world is saved.
