Level-up: Dollar cost averaging

Why would I want dollars to cost an average amount?

You’ve misinterpreted the name entirely. Imagine, if you will, sprinkling your money into stocks and mutual funds at regular intervals, like watering a plant a little bit every day. That's DCA. Your investment account is the plant, but instead of water, it's cash, and instead of growing a Sneezewort (actual name of a plant), you're getting rich. Maybe.

Why you’ll thank me later

• It's as Easy as it Gets: Forget about reading the market's mind; it has none. With DCA, you just keep dumping money into your investments on autopilot. You know how in Top Gun: Maverick (best movie of our generation? yes.) Tom Cruise’s character tells that kid who’s dad he killed (spoiler) “don’t think, just do” - DCA is that in investing form. 
  

• Risk, Be Gone: Throwing all your cash into the stock market in one go is like betting on a horse because it winked at you. DCA lets you bet on all the horses, slowly, so one of them might actually win.
  

• Emotions, Who?: You won't have the time to get cold feet or overly attached to your stocks. It's like swiping on a dating app, but instead of dates, you get dividends - more on those another day.

Maximizing the raw power of DCA

Probably too dramatic, but I’m feeling hyped after mentioning Top Gun, so whatever. Here’s how can you squeeze every last drop of good out of this investing strategy called DCA, whose power level is on par with that Darkstar prototype Tom Cruise blows up in the first scene (spoiler).

• The Early Bird Gets the Worm: And in this case, the worm is cash. Start now, and thank me when you're old and disgustingly wealthy. I’ll be waiting.
  

• Set It and Forget It: Automate your investments like you do with your Netflix subscription. You’ve heard of Netflix and chill? This is stack cash and thrill….I am sorry.
  

• Give It a Check-Up: Every once in a while, peek at your investments to make sure they're still working for you. Sometimes you’ll need a refresh in the lineup, sometimes the old pros still perform best. Just like…Tom Cruise…Maverick…what a guy.

Enough already

As you can see, Dollar Cost Averaging is a potent and easy investing strategy. Get into it, set up your plan, and watch as your bank account hopefully swells to the size of Hangman’s ego in Top Gun. Not a great character, but it did set him up to star opposite Sydney Sweeney in her latest romcom, which is definitely getting Oscars all round. 

Now, I’m off to watch the dogfight scene from Top Gun for about the 42nd time. Just remember, Dollar Cost Averaging keeps investing easy, your anxiety low, and your bank account bulging. Hot.

Bonus!

Skim: Dollar cost averaging 101
Go on: What is dollar cost averaging?
Deep dive: Dollar Cost Averaging