Gold and silver collapse.

All because of this guy?

Does he wear this cologne?

*Source: CoinGecko.com As of 11:04PM February 1, 2026

1) Metal meltdown: Gold and silver had their worst day since 1980, falling 10% and 36% respectively. I thought these things were supposed to be safe investments?? What’s insane is that these are the largest assets in the world, at nearly $38 trillion combined. Their fall last week was the largest single day fall in value of any asset classes.

2) This guy made the market tank: Trump has nominated Kevin Warsh, a former Federal Reserve governor known for hawkish views on interest rates and advocating tighter monetary policy to combat inflation, as the new Fed chair to succeed Jerome Powell in May 2026, causing gold and silver markets to tank due to fears of prolonged higher rates strengthening the US dollar and triggering widespread profit-taking and algorithmic selling from overleveraged positions.

3) The shutdown is back: As if things weren’t chaotic enough, the US is experiencing a partial government shutdown that began on Saturday, February 1, 2026, affecting agencies like Defense, Transportation, and Housing after Congress missed a funding deadline amid Democratic demands for ICE reforms following fatal shootings by immigration agents in Minnesota, but House Speaker Mike Johnson expects a resolution by Tuesday via a Senate-passed bill providing short-term funding.

1) In a product launch only requested by Guy Fieri (probably), Mug Root Beer has launched a cologne called Daddy’s Home. Two question: 1. Why? 2. How dare they?

2) A beach in England has disappeared under a blanket of uncooked French fries and onions after a container ship spilled its cargo earlier this month. Local residents rejoice. The price of vinegar sky-rockets.

3) A family lost their cat in Spain but it founds its way back to their home in France (250km away) after 5 months. Has there ever been stronger proof that we’re living in a simulation?