Jobs are up! So stocks are down.

Trump buys AI?

Finally, a world record I can get behind.

*Source: CoinGecko.com As of 4:14PM June 7 2026

1) Hot jobs report kills near-term Fed rate-cut hopes: A surprisingly strong May payrolls report (172,000 jobs added, unemployment steady at 4.3%) led traders to price in an even lower chance of a cut at the June 16-17 meeting and raise the odds of a hike by year-end to about 70%. The repricing rattled markets - stock traders need rate cuts like I need one garlic dipping sauce per slice of pizza.

2) Trump administration may buy into OpenAI: OpenAI CEO Sam Altman and the White House are in ongoing talks about a possible government stake, with the AI firm potentially donating equity to seed a proposed "Public Wealth Fund" for citizens. Trump confirmed the discussions aboard Air Force One, calling the idea "very interesting." That’s what I usually say about stuff I don’t understand.

3) SpaceX prices the largest IPO in history: SpaceX set a fixed price of $135 per share, with a valuation of $1.77 trillion, aiming to raise roughly $75 billion in a Nasdaq debut under ticker SPCX. The listing, expected June 12, would more than double the previous IPO record and leave Musk with over 82% voting control. This man has hacked the simulation.

1) Police are investigating after surveillance cameras caught groups of people popping out of maintenance holes in Brooklyn and Queens at night, some wearing headlamps and carrying shovels. Relax, it’s just the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles, I hope.

2) NASA said a meteor about 5 feet wide and as heavy as an elephant caused a startling double boom that shook homes and scared pets across the region. The energy released was equivalent to about 230 tons of TNT before the meteor fell into Cape Cod Bay. Thanks for the heads-up NASA!

3) A group of high school students set an official record with a blanket fort that measured 4,103 square feet, breaking a Guinness World Record. This is a record I can get behind. Also, get this fort on Zillow.