Not free cash, new iPhone, jobs miss

Week ending September 8th

Howdy! Hope everyone had a nice weekend.

I saw five separate ads for pumpkin spice drinks at different shops, so Fall is definitely here, at least in CORPORATE AMERICA.

But, don’t despair, Summer isn’t actually over till September 22nd. So go to that BBQ, get that tan, and day-drink at a beach till your tan turns to a burn.

I’m just procrastinating because the markets were so bad this week. Shall we?

Markets

PAST WEEK

YEAR-TO-DATE

Nasdaq

-5.5%

+11.5%

S&P500

-3.8%

+14.0%

MSCI Emerging Markets

-3.8%

+5.1%

Bitcoin*

-4.4%

+28.9%

Ethereum*

-4.3%

-1.7%

Stock of the week:
Polestar Automotive

+13.1%

+23.4%

Crypto of the week:
Sui

+22.9%

+17.9%

Source: CoinGecko.com As of 6:55AM June 24th

World news

Top news stories of the past week

1) TikTok check fraud: Viral videos started popping up of people depositing fake checks for large amounts at Chase Bank and then withdrawing the money. People were disappointed to find out that the Bank eventually discovered the checks were fake and removed the money from their accounts, often leaving them with a negative balance of thousands. Whoops!

2) New iPhone released today: At 1pm EST today, Apple will unveil the latest iPhone. This is predicted to be a major upgrade, as the newer phones are the only models that will make use of Apple’s AI software: Apple Intelligence. Apple teased the event saying “It’s Glowtime”. They may have stolen that teaser from Ru Paul.

3) U.S. job growth missed: U.S. employment increased less than expected in August, but a drop in the jobless rate to 4.2% suggested the labour market is still in pretty good health. If the economy is mostly stable, the Federal Reserve is more likely to cut rates 0.25% than 0.50%.

Top WEIRD stories of the past week

1) A half a house is for sale in Los Angeles for $499,999. Literally half a house - it was crushed by a tree, has no roof and missing exterior walls.

2) Venezuela’s President, Nicolas Maduro, has declared that Christmas will start in October this year because he said so. If this is a social bribe, which it probably is as Venezuela has been in chaos following Maduro’s election, then it’s a bribe which would work on me.

3) A whale was assassinated…maybe. Hvaldimir, a Beluga that was believed to previously work as a Russian spy after being found with surveillance equipment attached, has been found dead in “mysterious circumstances”. I love it when animals have jobs.

Chart

You like charts? Graphs? Ya you do

The U.S. is producing more oil than ever before. Production hit 13,400 barrels a day in the last couple of weeks. Some say this may materially drop gas prices. That would be nice!

Investment idea

What are we investing in?

Gold

This may seem boring, but sometimes, boring is good. Market volatility has massively accelerated in recent weeks, with stocks falling as investors are worried the Federal Reserve has kept interest rates too high for too long.

When markets are volatile, gold has historically been a great place to park your money.

As we move into U.S. Presidential elections and imminent Federal Reserve interest rate changes, more volatility is likely.

So how can you invest in gold?

  1. Physical gold: jewelry and gold bars! Seriously. Yes, this involves risk in that it can be stolen, but at least it looks cool. Costco even sells gold bars!

  2. Gold ETFs: this is the easiest way to invest in gold without the hassle of carrying it around. Check out SPDR Gold Shares or iShares Gold Trust. The second one is a bit cheaper.

  3. Gold miner ETFs: this is a bit riskier, as the return of the ETF depends on how the actual gold mining companies’ businesses are doing, but still a good way for exposure to the space. VanEck Gold Miners ETF is a solid option.

History

On this day…

…in 1956, Elvis made his first TV appearance, on the Ed Sullivan show. Worth a watch.

Music

Banger of the week

Most important thing

Meme? Nah. Art.

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