Top stories of the past week

1) Trump convicted: The Donald became the first former American president to be convicted of felony crimes, with 34 charges in total. This doesn’t stop him from continuing his White House campaign. The memes are going to be mental.

2) China to the moon: China landed an uncrewed spacecraft on the far side of the moon. They’re going to collect some rock and soil samples. Apparently there’s a space race on again?

3) Salesforce selloff: Salesforce’s stock price fell by 20% after the company issued weaker than expected guidance. Should they just bite the bullet and add a dating feature? What better platform is there to find a man in finance, with a trust fund, is about 6’5, and ideally has blue eyes?

Top WEIRD stories of the past week

1) The annual Gloucestershire cheese race took place, during which competitors slide down a 200 meter near-vertical hill to try and catch…a wheel of cheese. Bless the Brits.
2) A man in England stole 17 tubes of Pringles in a string of robberies and in an attempt to explain himself he said “once you pop, you can’t stop”. Seems fair to me.
3) During a flight from Perth, Australia, a man got completely naked and ran down the aisle of the plane. Reports say it is “unclear how the passenger removed his clothes”. WILD GUESS: he took em off.

You like charts? Graphs? Of course you do

On this day…

…in 1940, 320,000 Allied troops were evacuated from the beaches of Dunkirk with the help of 850 civilian boats.

Banger of the week

Meme? Nah. Art.