Trump sues the biggest bank.
Gold is breaking records.
My palms are sweaty, knees are weak, and arms are heavy.
Markets
PAST WEEK | YEAR-SO-FAR | |
|---|---|---|
Nasdaq | -0.6% | +1.1% |
S&P500 | -0.7% | +0.8% |
MSCI Emerging Markets | +2.0% | +5.0% |
Bitcoin* | -9.4% | -1.3% |
Ethereum* | -16.2% | -6.0% |
Stock of the week: | +43.4% | +81.8% |
Crypto of the week: | +173.0% | +718.9% |
*Source: CoinGecko.com As of 5:57PM January 25, 2026
World news
Top news stories of the past week
1) Trump sues the bank: President Trump sued JPMorgan bank and its CEO Jamie Dimon for $5 billion. He says they wrongly closed his bank accounts in 2021 because of his politics, after the Capitol riot. Trump claims this hurt his business and reputation. The bank says no, it was not about politics, and they will fight the case. It’s just one thing after another.
“You’re sued.”
2) The economy is growing: U.S. Gross Domestic Product numbers came out last week with a massive upside surprise. The U.S. economy is growing at 4.4% per year vs. recent estimates of 4.3% and initial forecasts of 3.3%. Is this good? Sort of. More growth means the economy isn’t about to fall apart (good) but also that the U.S. Federal Reserve may not have to cut interest rates (bad).
“Maybe I’ll cut rates, maybe I won’t.”
3) Gold is still a rocket: The price of gold hit $5,000 per ounce for the first time ever - up 82% over the past 12 months. Why? Central banks around the world, including China and India, are aggressively buying the shiny metal, diversifying their reserves away from the U.S. dollar. Also, gold is viewed a safe haven. And in case you haven’t turned on the news in the past two years, people definitely could use a safe haven right now.
Top WEIRD stories of the past week
1) In this week’s edition of HOW BOUT NO?! Alex Honnold climbed Taipai 101 (the 1,667 foot skyscraper in Taiwan) without any ropes, safety nets, or parachutes. I wasn’t aware my hands could sweat as much as they did.
2) A film and performing arts major at the University of Alaska Fairbanks, tore down and ate dozens of AI-generated prints from a campus gallery exhibit as a protest against AI in art. The student damaged (nibbled) at least 57 prints, causing about $220 in estimated losses, and was arrested on a class B misdemeanor. Eating 57 pieces of art is honestly pretty impressive.
3) A cow used a stick to scratch itself and scientists absolutely lost their minds. Forget AI, cows will soon be our super intelligent overlords.
Chart
You like charts? Graphs? Ya you do
How’s the U.S. housing market doing? Well considering sellers outnumber buyers more than any point in history, not great.
Music
Banger of the week
Most important thing
Meme? Nah. Art.
